Distances

I am so far from you tonight

while I hear “Lately” by Stevie Wonder

which is a so sad tune

but also beautiful

as you are.

I'm far from you tonight

'cause I know you are lost in dreams

and dreams are just like ancient houses

closed by heavy doors

impossible to open to whom doesn't belong to them

I strongly believe that I'm awake

but crossing this profound night who care?

No matter how much I open my eyes into its misteries

it always will keeps its unreadeable signs

forms of life that I even don't understand

delicates colors and textures

from the night

avoided to me

I used to be a creature of the night

or so I believed

Maybe what happen is

that  I'm far from me tonight

'cause I'm far from you

in a way that no word could explain

if you believe in distances

if you are able to see the gap

between the world

and what we take for it

you should feel the tremor

which is hide in those small things

that we recall without understand.

06/07/10

Pack of dogs

Sometimes present is infinitely better than future

and this isn't a sentence I borrowed from my grandpa

it comes to me just from memories

present was superior when Rose let me stay the night

in her sofa telling me that next morning

I should find a different place to sleep

she was sorry of course

but she asked me to understand her situation

her fiance was hitting the road  from Owl Creek

a town in North Carolina or maybe Wyoming

I don't remember

and she was expecting him to arrive sometime next morning

I should leave her place as early as possible

also she gently asked me don't use the douche

“he is a jealous man” - she said and closed the door of her bedroom

I still heard she said “Good night” from inside.

She was pretty

and practical

she lost her initial interest in me

when she realized that I can't keep a job for more than a couple of weeks

but she still likes me

but complains that I am not “serious”

and she was right

I am not.

And it was too late to start a change.

I refused to think in the future

it looks ugly from any perspective.

it was January and that night was a snowy one

I took a look through the windows and I just saw a few cars

running to their apparently exact destinies

and suddenly it seemed that all those things  matched too much perfectly

and that made me mad

so at some point that night

I knocked at Rose's door

with no clear purpose

just feeling that unspeakable pain.

And at that very moment

I new that future was running over me

like a pack of ferocious dogs.

David Miralles 1:59:10 AM Saturday, July 10, 2010

Spell of Wonders

For no reason

it came to my mind

the holy mouth of my mom

begging to me

'to watch my language'

it wasn't a dream

or not at all

I mean it was totally unreal

like a flash back

in the middle of a very common day

a reasonable and ordinary long day

a gray and rainy business day

I didn't mentioned it but

my mom died several years ago

and she never used to appear to me before

except for that night in Brooking, South Dakota

when she was upset in a dream

where we were both

but the uncanny thing was that

when I woke up she was still in the room

looking at me

the same way she used to scold me

as a child

that scared me a lot

specially because I don't believe in ghosts

or any supernatural phenomena

but the fact was that she was in that corner

levitating a foot and a half off the ground

while I run away and closed the door

and never went back to open it

but until the very day I needed to get my suitcases

'cause I was leaving the town

As I am writing this

I feel that I should agree with you

that it was not a totally logical attitude from my part

but I was afraid.

The first times

I used to look at that closed room

I felt some kind of remorse

it was like if my mother were trapped in there

but then I decided that the woman I saw

just looked like my mother

but probably was a different one

I mean a different ghost

I started to think that it was so strange

that she were there

considering the fact that she died more than 13.000 miles away

but I need to confess that I was confused

and also so tired

I should mention that in those days

I had sold myself as a slave

to teach Spanish at the local College

and in such itself surreal circumstances

my life had turned strange enough

to admit any possibility.

This ocurrance

that living in San Francisco

or Buenos Aires had been considered irrational

there, in the middle of that frozen nowhere land

started to look pretty normal.

But now

after several years of rationalist efforts

and living in the core of a Cartesian neighborhood

it seems not fair

the irruption of the sickly-sweet voice of my mother

asking for an extra dose of respect.

it troubles me indeed

'cause I love profanities

which put spells of wonders

on the mean ass

of the reality.

David Miralles  9 de julio de 2010